He Hears Me

Step one, you say, “We need to talk”
He walks, you say, “Sit down, it’s just a talk”
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
‘Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you’ve told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you’ve followed

He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he’ll say he’s just not the same
And you’ll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

~The Fray, “How to Save a Life”, How to Save a Life

 

 

I love this song. But when I really sit and listen to the lyrics–as I’m apt to do (because I’m SUCH a word person!)–I find myself thinking too much…

I end up recounting the friend who got away. Not because I desire the friend or friendship again. No. I’m SO much happier (and healthier) without her presence in my life. But I find that I’m still beating myself up over the way I let myself be manipulated, the way I let myself be treated so poorly for so long.

I can honestly say that I wish her well; I forgive her. I want to extend myself the same grace, understanding and forgiveness that I’ve been able to extend to her. But for some reason, I’m having such a difficult time!

Why do I do this? Why can’t I just let it go? Why can’t I just know that I’ve learned, changed and grown from the situation? And why can’t I just hold this all before my God with open hands, the way I know He wants me to? Maybe it just takes time… In the meantime, I know that He appreciates my honesty and that He hears me in the midst of it all.

 

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